I have some rather unpleasant news for you. You're not perfect, nor will you ever be. And aren't you the lucky one?
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is actually for people who exercise an excruciating fear of loneliness. Bottom line is that you don't have to be at every event, because not every occasion is a fun one. When people prophetically say that "life is too short", think of it in that reference. Another Friday, another bad party? Yeah, life is too short. It's a despairing thought to not be able to sit by yourself and listen to a really good song, or binge watch House of Cards with just you and delicious Thai food delivery. To me that is personal FOMO, I would miss the fun of being alone.
Then there's the relationship insecurities. Does he think I'm pretty enough? Am I smart? Am I enough? Yes - to all those questions. The two of you hooked up, because there was something there. That's why he texted you the day after, and the day after, and the week after that. We have all shared the moment when we tried to bend our personality to somehow fit into your significant other's world. Maybe his friends would like you more. When those doubts pop up, just remember that he's not pretending to like you, he really does like you. So, why are you pretending to be something that you're not?
Life is too short to be bored and boring. My friend said that her biggest fear is actually being boring. The truth is, we are all boring to someone. How could we not be? Everyone has different interests and levels of patience. I once had acquaintances that all they wanted to do was gossip about other people. Not necessarily in a mean or vicious way, but it's a certain type of self-righteousness that doesn't sit with me. When I share things about other people, it's pre-thought out, there's always a reason for it and not for the sake of getting information out there. It's because of something that I experienced and I choose to share it with people that I trust. Then my acquaintance said, "who else can we talk about?" And there it was, I was so bored of this boring person.
I want to talk about ideas, music, good books, bad books, a new app, that new vintage shop everyone's buying from, last week's art opening, how you are feeling, is everyone still eating avocado toast, what's with that new almond milk, your new hair color looks really good on you, what was the last thing you Googled, Copenhagen, planning a trip to Paris, what are you Netflix binging and should I be. The only people I might be interested in discussing is Rihanna and Drake, because that unrequited love is real.
It is ironic how social media apps have allowed us to forget all about ourselves, selfies and all. It has trained our brains to "share" but not necessarily care. Don't ever feel like you need to catch up on Instagram or Facebook, the next Snapchat is around the corner. Stick with what you love to do. Choose your squad (hate that word), carefully and thoughtfully. You want to be with friends who will stick up for you and not gossip about you. Once in a while, take a walk by yourself. Think things through. I guess, by all means, don't forget to stop and Snapchat the roses. Just don't do it, because everyone else is. Put some quality back into your personal time, don't forget that it's a pretty valuable commodity. Why do you think Facebook banks so much on you? If FOMO was an algebra equation it might equate to the sum of all parts, that being the fear of missing out equals who cares 'cuz I'm having a pretty good time without y'all.
(***Disclaimer I got a C in Algebra)
Do you, be you and stick to people who like you just as you are. You'll be okay.
And then, just treat yourself to something nice. You deserve it. 🐰
Swipe some bright color on your lip and tell bae dinner's on you. 💄
Get your winter coat looks in order. Start with this shaggy coat in camel. 💨
Go ahead and buy that piece of jewelry you've had your eye on. ✨
Oh and if the above words of wisdom weren't enough, read Nicole Richie's personal essay on Lenny Letter.
**Opening image via Glossier